A deaf man and a deaf woman recently got married. On their honeymoon they found they had a problem communicating with the lights off, so sex was difficult to coordinate. The wife decided they needed a system. She told her husband, "If at night you want to have sex, reach over and grab my left breast. If you do not want to have sex, grab my right breast." The husband likes the idea and replies, "Great! So if you want to have sex reach over and tug on my penis once. If you dont, reach over and tug on my penis one hundred times!"
A deaf man and a deaf woman recently got married. On their honeymoon they found they had a problem communicating with the lights off, so sex was difficult to coordinate. The wife decided they needed a system. She told her husband, "If at night you want to have sex, reach over and grab my left breast. If you do not want to have sex, grab my right breast." The husband likes the idea and replies, "Great! So if you want to have sex reach over and tug on my penis once. If you dont, reach over and tug on my penis one hundred times!"
A deaf man and a deaf woman recently got married. On their honeymoon they found they had a problem communicating with the lights off, so sex was difficult to coordinate. The wife decided they needed a system. She told her husband, "If at night you want to have sex, reach over and grab my left breast. If you do not want to have sex, grab my right breast." The husband likes the idea and replies, "Great! So if you want to have sex reach over and tug on my penis once. If you dont, reach over and tug on my penis one hundred times!"
Three men were eating their lunch at the building site they worked at. The first man opens his lunch and says "Ham sandwiches. If I get ham sandwiches one more day Im gonna kill myself". The second man opens his lunch and say "Chicken sandwiches. If I get chicken sandwiches one more day Im gonna kill myself. The last man opens his lunch and say "Lamb sandwiches. If I get lamb sandwiches one more day Im gonna kill myself".
The next day the men opened their lunches. "Ham sandwiches", "Chicken sandwiches", "Lamb sandwiches". They all proceed to jump of the half finished building to their deaths.
At the funeral the mens wives spoke. Crying, the first mans wife said "I thought he liked ham sandwiches". The second mans wife said "I thought he liked chicken sandwiches". The last mans wife says "Well I dont know what was wrong with my husband. He made his own lunch".
Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to
choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no.
Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly
walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt
cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies'
buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint
niver seed nobody do it""
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond since he hadn't been there for a while and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned. 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond,naked.'
Holding the bucket up, he said,
'I'M HERE TO FEED THE ALLIGATOR.'
Two hillbillies are having lunch when a woman seated nearby begins to
choke. Hillbilly asks her,"kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no.
Hillbilly asks her "kin ya breathe?" Woman shakes her head no. Hillbilly
walks over,lifts up her dress, yanks down britches and licks her butt
cheek. The woman has a violent spasm and spits out food. The hillbillies'
buddy says "ya know,I heerd of that there hind lick maneuver but I aint
niver seed nobody do it""
