Jokes

Melon Master

Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005

▫ Dec 7 2007, 03:58 Post #461

QUOTE(Damor)

Thats good!

See if this one has been said before.

Q. How do you know when your ugly?

A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed.

Not bad...

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it

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C Cup

Member No.: 4691 Posts: 626 Joined: 03/2005

▫ Dec 7 2007, 04:09 Post #462

QUOTE(bondiguy)

Not bad...

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it

Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row?

A. A wind tunnel.

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Melon Master

Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005

▫ Dec 7 2007, 04:54 Post #463

QUOTE(Damor)

Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row?

A. A wind tunnel.

nice one

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Double D's

Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007

▫ Dec 8 2007, 18:12 Post #464

QUOTE(bondiguy)

Not bad...

Q. How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
A. Marry it

oh very nice...lol

QUOTE(Damor)

Q. What do you call three blondes standing in a row?

A. A wind tunnel.

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Double D's

Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007

▫ Dec 8 2007, 18:13 Post #465

QUOTE(Damor)

Thats good!

See if this one has been said before.

Q. How do you know when your ugly?

A. When the dog humps your leg with his eyes closed.

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D Cup

Member No.: 14012 Posts: 2,345 Joined: 03/2006

▫ Dec 8 2007, 19:18 Post #466

Q: How do you tell when a woman is going to say something smart?

A: She starts her sentence .....A man once told me........

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Double D's

Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007

▫ Dec 8 2007, 20:51 Post #467

Man translations...

When a man says: CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

He means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

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C Cup

Member No.: 4691 Posts: 626 Joined: 03/2005

▫ Dec 10 2007, 04:41 Post #468

QUOTE(misschickie)

Man translations...

When a man says: CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"

He means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

I got one..

Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A.

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Melon Master

Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005

▫ Dec 10 2007, 04:43 Post #469

QUOTE(UncleBuck)

Q: How do you tell when a woman is going to say something smart?

A: She starts her sentence .....A man once told me........

Beautiful... I love it!

QUOTE(Damor)

I got one..

Q. How do you keep a blonde in suspense?

A.

Tell me the answer dammit!

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D Cup

Member No.: 14012 Posts: 2,345 Joined: 03/2006

▫ Dec 11 2007, 19:16 Post #470

> >>Subject: Diplomatic
> >>A man in the Florida supermarket tries to buy half a head of
> >>lettuce.
> >>The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole

> >>heads of lettuce.
> >>
> >>The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask

> >>his manager about it.
> >>
> >>Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some
> >>asshole wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his
> >>sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he

> >>added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other
> >>half."
> >>
> >>The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.
> >>
> >>Later the manager said to the boy, "I was
>impressed with the way
> >>you
> >>got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think

> >>on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"
> >>
> >>"Canada, sir," the boy replied.
> >>
> >>"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.
> >>
> >>The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up

> >>there."
> >>
> >>"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."
> >>
> >>"No shit?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"
> >

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Double D's

Member No.: 9341 Posts: 4,403 Joined: 07/2005

▫ Dec 18 2007, 21:31 Post #471

Did you hear about the flasher who was gonna retire?

He decided to stick it out for another year.

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Melon Master

Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005

▫ Dec 19 2007, 03:11 Post #472

QUOTE(closeup)

Did you hear about the flasher who was gonna retire?
He decided to stick it out for another year.

lol that joke sounds like it should have a multitude of sound effects after it and then roll to a song