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Member No.: 21123 View profile Log in to message
D Cup
Member No.: 21123 Posts: 1,617 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 1 2007, 19:18 Post #441
Member No.: 9341 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 9341 Posts: 4,403 Joined: 07/2005
▫ Dec 2 2007, 06:32 Post #442
QUOTE(bondiguy)
Q.Why don't women need a watch?
A.There's a clock on the stove.

That reminds me: Why do brides always wear white?
So the dishwasher will match the stove and refrigerator.
Member No.: 14606 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 14606 Posts: 28,387 Joined: 04/2006
▫ Dec 2 2007, 17:59 Post #443
QUOTE(closeup)
That reminds me: Why do brides always wear white?
                         So the dishwasher will match the stove and refrigerator.


LOL :2thumbsup:
Member No.: 7542 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005
▫ Dec 3 2007, 04:19 Post #444
QUOTE(Kiana)
:roflmao:   :thumbup:


Thanks hun!

QUOTE(closeup)
That reminds me: Why do brides always wear white?
                         So the dishwasher will match the stove and refrigerator.


:lol: Yeah I was fishing for that one in the memory bank but I couldn't quite remember it... good one though
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 4 2007, 05:32 Post #445
Bondi and closeup... :lol: :lol: :lol:

Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.
Member No.: 9341 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 9341 Posts: 4,403 Joined: 07/2005
▫ Dec 4 2007, 05:41 Post #446
QUOTE(misschickie)
Bondi and closeup... :lol:   :lol:   :lol:
Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.

Okay, we're even. Here's one: Why can't Smokey the Bears' wife get pregnant?
Every time she gets hot, he throws sand on her and beats her with his shovel.
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 4 2007, 05:53 Post #447
QUOTE(closeup)
Okay, we're even.  Here's one: Why can't Smokey the Bears' wife get pregnant?
Every time she gets hot, he throws sand on her and beats her with his shovel.


ok, that cracked me up like an egg. :roflmao:
Member No.: 4294 View profile Log in to message
B Cup
Member No.: 4294 Posts: 202 Joined: 03/2005
▫ Dec 4 2007, 06:08 Post #448
QUOTE(closeup)
Okay, we're even.  Here's one: Why can't Smokey the Bears' wife get pregnant?
Every time she gets hot, he throws sand on her and beats her with his shovel.


hey some people might be in to that sort of thing...
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 4 2007, 06:13 Post #449
QUOTE(DoubleJ)
hey some people might be in to that sort of thing...


Is that a rake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
Member No.: 4294 View profile Log in to message
B Cup
Member No.: 4294 Posts: 202 Joined: 03/2005
▫ Dec 4 2007, 06:16 Post #450
QUOTE(misschickie)
Is that a rake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?


no pockets, i've been free from my pants for much of this evening
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 4 2007, 06:21 Post #451
QUOTE(DoubleJ)
no pockets, i've been free from my pants for much of this evening


NICE...I hate it when I have to wrestle a man out of his pants
Member No.: 4294 View profile Log in to message
B Cup
Member No.: 4294 Posts: 202 Joined: 03/2005
▫ Dec 4 2007, 06:23 Post #452
QUOTE(misschickie)
NICE...I hate it when I have to wrestle a man out of his pants

I bet they usually cum easy for you though when you do

(we must be the only two folks around tonight)
Member No.: 7542 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005
▫ Dec 6 2007, 04:33 Post #453
QUOTE(misschickie)
Bondi and closeup... :lol:   :lol:   :lol:
Q: How can you tell when a man is well hung?

A: When you can just barely slip your finger between his neck and the noose.


:lol: I had not heard that before... not bad at all!

Ok I have two replies...

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. Why did God create woman ?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 6 2007, 05:49 Post #454
QUOTE(bondiguy)
:lol: I had not heard that before... not bad at all!

Ok I have two replies...

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. Why did God create woman ?
A. To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.


:lol: and :lol:

Now, here is one Just for you, B

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 6 2007, 05:50 Post #455
QUOTE(DoubleJ)
I bet they usually cum easy for you though when you do

(we must be the only two folks around tonight)


Well, lets just see about that, shall we?

(yes, we were...it was very cozy)
Member No.: 7542 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005
▫ Dec 6 2007, 06:05 Post #456
QUOTE(misschickie)
:lol: and :lol:

Now, here is one Just for you, B

Q: How does a man show he's planning for the future?

A: He buys two cases of beer instead of one.


Funny coz it's true! lol

Q. What do you say to your wife when she is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Why are you out of the kitchen?

Q. What do you DO if your wife is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Shorten her chain to the oven
Member No.: 4294 View profile Log in to message
B Cup
Member No.: 4294 Posts: 202 Joined: 03/2005
▫ Dec 6 2007, 06:11 Post #457
QUOTE(misschickie)
Well, lets just see about that, shall we?

(yes, we were...it was very cozy)


not near cozy enough if you ask me
Member No.: 21236 View profile Log in to message
Double D's
Member No.: 21236 Posts: 2,709 Joined: 03/2007
▫ Dec 6 2007, 06:21 Post #458
:kisses:
QUOTE(bondiguy)
Funny coz it's true! lol

Q. What do you say to your wife when she is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Why are you out of the kitchen?

Q. What do you DO if your wife is blocking your view of the TV?
A. Shorten her chain to the oven


lol...those are terrible!!!

Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

A You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

QUOTE(DoubleJ)
not near cozy enough if you ask me


i agree...
Member No.: 7542 View profile Log in to message
Melon Master
Member No.: 7542 Posts: 16,209 Joined: 05/2005
▫ Dec 6 2007, 10:21 Post #459
QUOTE(misschickie)
:kisses:

lol...those are terrible!!!

Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling  your name?

A You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
i agree...
Member No.: 4691 View profile Log in to message
C Cup
Member No.: 4691 Posts: 626 Joined: 03/2005
▫ Dec 6 2007, 11:58 Post #460
QUOTE(bondiguy)

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