So long as you lap up the spotlight whilst it lasts

I was debating on whether to put this in the rant thread or the road rage thread. I figured here would be better cuz it really pissed me off and deserves a rant.

So I ride a motorcycle. I've had a harley for about 6 years now. I love to go riding. I used to go riding every single chance I got. But my wife is not nearly into riding as much as I am... but she'll still go with me. But that takes away a lot of opportunity to get on it. But that's not my rant

IT'd help if I rode it to work, but it's actually a pain in the ass to ride it to work. 1)It's carbureted, so I have to let it warm up a bit before I leave for work... which I'm usually running late. 2)In the summer, if I ride, I can't wear shorts. It's too hot on the bike to wear shorts...if your leg touches the engine or especially the exhaust, you can say hello to your nice new blister. 3)It sucks to get your adreneline flowing on teh bike and then all of a sudden you're a work and it's like, Fuck I'm a work and I can't ride till my short as fuck lunch break. but thats' not the rant.

Now i have a scooter. I get about 80 MPG, I can go about 62 MPH and cruise comfortably up to about 55 mph. I can start it in the morning and just go. I don't have to shift or operate a clutch so I can eat my pop tart for breakfast with one hand and control myself with the other. If it rains, I can hide my legs behind the front of the bike and not get too wet... as opposed to the harley where my shins get soaked near instantly. I can wear shorts and sandles on it if I want to. Basically, it's just a great form of transportation that happens to be a fuck load of fun. and as gay as you think it might be to be riding a scooter, I get tons of attention from girls... and yes, it's positive attention. But, obviously, that's not the rant.

one drawback of the scooter is that people see it and think it's an underpowered piece of shit. well, it's not gonna beat a race car, but it does get up and go. I can get to 50mph before a lot of the other cars out there because it's so light. but even still, people love to get around you and don't want to feel like they're stuck behind you. years of riding taught me that it's not a good idea to get emotional when riding, but just let asshole drivers go... and thank the Lord you were aware of what was going on. but that's not the rant either... that's jut the setup.

so here it is:

the other day I'm riding home from work. It's not exactly rushhour and there's not a ton of cars on the road, but the road is far from deserted. So after waiting at a stop light behind and next to some cars, we all proceed through the intersection and continue to where the road has a lane reduction. I'm in the part of the raod taht continues and the right-hand lane merges. Unwritten etiquette is that you go every other car. it makes things nice and easy. Well, we're all cruising and the guy in front of me maeks a quick slowdown, and when he has finally slowed to about 20mph, he puts his left-hand turn signal on. It was very unexpected, so I had to hit my brakes hard and I got close to his vehicle... no dangerously close, but close. Well, all of a sudden, he hits the hooks and comes to a dead stop. I always leave myself an out and was about to swerve to the right... but I noticed something moving and heard a noise. it was the the deuche bag from WAY the fuck behind me but in the right lane who decided that she just wanted to get ahead one more measly car length before the lane reduction occured... by driving in the shoulder of the road(because the lane reduction already fucking happened) Not only did she take away my out by performing her illegal maneuver, but she came so fucking close to hitting me regardless, that it kinda pissed me off. had I not been paying attention to either the guy in front of me or her, I would have swerved to the right and been killed.

We finally came up to a stoplight and she was right in front of me. i got off my scooter and knocked on her window. and here's waht I said to the lady who at first pretended not to see me and rolling her window down about an inch (I don'tblame her for that)... she also looked much too simple to be driving a car.

anyway, i said, in a very calm and unemotional voice:
Well, here we are, at the same light at the same time. I'm sure you're glad you sped ahead of me to get here a second or two before me. But had I not been paying attention, you would have killed me in the process. The roadway is plenty big enough for all of us, there's no reason to drive like that. Start seeing motorcycles and respecting them like any other vehicle on the road. It just may save someone's life. Drive safe.

As I walked away, she said, Fuck you, asshole. I didn't think that was very nice.

so to summarize: I fucking hate it when people drive their cars like assholes, especially when i'm on my motorcycle and their recklessness could cost me my life.

Thanks for reading all this, you weirdo.

Holy fuck that's a record long post, even for you Bob... but alas I know how you feel.

Whilst I don't ride I am on the road 5 days a week for work and I see some utterly stupid fucking things out there, people are just not considerate or patient anymore.

Oh and I have ridden Vespa's before which sound similar to what you're talking about and they are as cool as fuck!

Stay safe out on the roads brother

so i was driving around town a few days ago and i see this total tool riding a moped in my rearview mirror... sounds like i'm being chased by a lawnmower... and it hits me, "that poor sap, i guess i know what it looks like to go around life having your balls cut off. i should put this s.o.b. out of his misery." so i decide to fuck with him and see if he's paying attention. i brake slowly to see if he's paying attention, then i slam on my brakes really hard to see if he can stop in time...

pff, i wonder whatever happened to that guy...

He's probably venting his anger on a titty rating forum

wow, what a loser... i should've just hit him

Then u would've had to run ur car through a carwash, what an unwanted expense!

Yeah. I don't know what got into me with that one. I just kept writing and writing. Sorry for that.

Anyway... yes, my scooter is very similar to a Vespa. but when i was shopping, I like the one I got better. It also fit my budget much better.


That was hilarious.

Glad you're back around slinging shit all over the boards.


Icing!

I was thinking about getting a bike, but now I'm not so sure as I'm ALWAYS running late for work. I've thought about the scooter idea too, but most of my drive to work is about 65+ mph so I'd at least need a bigger cc one.
I've heard the "gay" scooter angle too, but I really don't give a fuck.
I saw a lady driving one the other day and she blew off the line WAY ahead of every other vehicle. Their hp to lb ratio is probably pretty high.
When we were in Hawaii we rented scooters instead of a car as it was cheaper, and they were WAY more fun. I drove around all day, and it cost me $2 to top the tank on mine.
Anyway, as for your rant. I know friends of mine who ride bikes always say, you have to drive for everyone else around you when on a bike because of the amount of moron drivers out there. I HATE HATE when people cut you off or blow past you to save 3 seconds. And then you pull up to the same stop light as them anyway. It would be doubly infuriating on a bike or scooter.
I can't believe you got off and told her that. Not that it was uncalled for. Quite the opposite. Her response was pretty stupid though. She could have at least said, "sorry dude". If it was me, I probably wouldn't have said anything. But I would have followed her to work and pissed in her gas tank.

In the future, to avoid scooter ridicule, you could always accessorize it as follows:



hahaha, It's a small world.


What a loser!

I say go for it and get one. They have some pretty nice scooters out there that are suprisingly very powerful. My sister had one a long time ago that 250cc. That's all teh power you'll need on a scooter. That fucker flew. But, some maufacturer's are making scooters now that seem more like motorcycles that you don't have to shift. Those are getting a little crazy. If you're seriously looking into them, let me know. I did plenty of reseach and I'm good at subjecting everyone to my opinion. The problem for your situation, though, is once you get to the highway worthy scooters, the pricetag does a major jump. Mine is 125cc so I can go on anything but major highways and tollways.


Totally true. riding on two wheels has definitely made me a better driver in general. You automaticlly learn to scan and anticipate with a much larger scope. You can get a good read on who is going to try to dart out in front of you, go for that yellow light before it turns red, and stuff like that. You also have to assume that no one ever sees you and be prepared for whatever action you need to take because of it.

I couldn't believe I went up to her either. But I was just so infuriated for motorcycle riders in general. I was proud of myself for not being a complete raging asshole, but rather just calmly stating how unsafe her driving is. I hope that after she got over what an "asshole" I was, she actually took me seriously and will reconsider her urgency when driving. Then again, maybe I should have followed her a pissed in her gas tank. at least then I could realize my satisfaction right away.



that's fucking awesome. The guy who did that is one fabricating genius. It ain't easy to take a motorcycle and completely rework the frame like that and have it work out the way you expect. It also appears to be an automatic, meaning he had to do some special work with the clutch. I can't imagine taking that powerful of an engine and putting a centrifugal clutch on it and expecting it to work properly. But I'm sure he knew what he was doing. but holy shit. 100hp. that's fucking crazy power on two wheels.

Thank you sir... p.s glad u liked me T shirt on facebook



than roll her up in a carpet and throw her of a bridge?

that sounds like just a zany scheme.

That'll show that crusty old dean

Theres alot of gas tanks I'd piss in if I could piss in a gas tank!

My V65 Magna is 103 HP. And only 543 lbs. It also has overdrive, which you don't see on alot of bikes. It'll turn a quarter mile in the low 10's. But for all that, I'm probably not going to get it repaired. I don't think I'll ever ride it again. Between cell phones, pagers and assholes, it's just getting too dangerous. The shit I see driving a 12 ton truck is enough to make my hair stand on end. I don't have any digital pictures of my bike but it's similar to this one. I've got round mirrors and a four-into-two exhaust system.

wow man cant believe you walked up to her door I thought all chicago women carried tazers ..

The Magna is a cool bike... very fast. I didn't realize it was over 100 HP. the 1/4 mile time is outrageous, is that accurate???

My friend had an early '80s magna... I learned to ride on that thing. that fucker flew. My Sportster is quicker off the line, though, but he would pass me no problem after 90mph. My bike climbs slowly after that, but it will get up to about 115 no problem. 120 downhill with the wind. BUt I don't ride liek that anymore. it's fucking stupid... especially in the chicagoland area.


Oh, they do. But this woman's head was so far up her ass, she never would have been able to reach her tazer

The Magna is a cool bike... very fast. I didn't realize it was over 100 HP. the 1/4 mile time is outrageous, is that accurate???

My friend had an early '80s magna... I learned to ride on that thing. that fucker flew. My Sportster is quicker

My bike is an 83 Magna. It's been extensively detailed. For example, you know how all the magnesium parts on a Honda have a clear coat finish? The older bikes always look like shit because the clear coat gets pitted and discolored, turning black. One of the first things done with my bike was to remove every piece of magnesium (including the rims) and remove that varnish. Then every piece was hand polished and buffed. One small piece would take hours but the results were worth the effort. All the hydraulics were refilled using D.O.T 5 hydraulic fluid, the same as they use on jet fighters. Only Mobile One for my oil changes. The 1/4 mile time was listed as 10.2. I'd never risk my neck doing that but that bike is really quick off the line.

That woman should be run over. I really wish that it was easier to lose your liscence... some people just shouldn't be driving.

I drive the highway 7 days a week to get to school and work and the people who drive on it are miserable. We blame it on the California drivers who keep moving out here. My mother owns a 07 Saturn Sky... bright red convertable and she lets me drive it once in a blue moon. People automatically assumed that I wanted to race every car on the planet, they'd tail me/cut me off etc.... It really pissed me off because it's a nice car, it was a nice day... and I just wanted to cruise!!

Anyways... I'd love to have a scooter, they advertise them on the light rail trains out here, but I probably average about 70 mph in my car

Somebody get this girl a peefunnel!



They even make dispossible ones: