Slightly off thread topic but I couldn't resist.... some classic Ralph Wiggum quotes:
Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.
Ralph: Hi, Super Nintendo Chalmers!
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.
Ralph: My cat's breath smells like cat food
Ralph: Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me
Ralph: When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University.
Ralph: The doctor said I wouldn't have so many nose bleeds if I kept my finger outta there.
Ralph: Prinskipper Skippel... Primdable Skimpsker... I found something!
Ralph: Principal Skinner, I got car sick in your office
Ralph Wiggum: Daddy, these rubber panties are hot!
Chief Wiggum: You've gotta wear them 'til you learn, son!
"And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life."
"He's still funny, but not 'ha-ha' funny."
"My parents won't let me use scissors."
"So, do you...like...stuff?"
"It says 'I Choo-choo-choose You,' and there's a picture of a train!"
"I'm Idaho."
"I bent my wookie."
Ralph: "Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent."
Miss Hoover: "Ralph, remember the time you said Snagglepuss was outside?"
Ralph: "He was going to the bathroom."
"Ow, my face is on fire!"
"Somebody took my juice money!"
"Will you cook my dinner for me? My parents aren't around and I'm not allowed to turn on the stove."
"I'm a boy!"
[at "tethered swimming"] "I don't feel right."
Ralph: "Miss Hoover? The floor is shaking."
Miss Hoover: "Ralph, remember the time you thought the --"
[gusher explodes through the ceiling, taking Ralph with it]
"Oh boy, sleep! That's where I'm a viking!"
"I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant."
"That is sooo 1991."
"My knob tastes funny."
"Maybe she drove to the moon."
"Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school."
"Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty."
"When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar."
Ralph: "Daddy, I'm scared. Too scared to even wet my pants."
Chief Wiggum: "Just relax and it'll come, son."
"I ated the purple berries"
"It tastes like ... burning"
"I found a moon rock in my nose!"
"Help! She's touching my special area!"
"Slow down, Bart! My legs don't know how to be as long as yours."
"This snowflake tastes like fishsticks."
"At my house, we call them [fires] 'Uh-Oh's.'"
"Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Gramma!"
(Pointing at Homer) "Mommy has bosoms like that."
(After being soaked in fake blood) "I look like cable TV!"
(After seeing the comic store's "Adult Section") "Everybody's hugging!"
Gnappy... some more classics! Gold comedy my friend. I read the quotes, see the scene in my head and laugh.
Here are more quotes from an obscure Simspon character Comic Book Guy:
Comic Book Guy: But, Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You're from two different worlds... Oh, I've wasted my life.
Comic Book Guy: The Internet King? I wonder if he could provide faster nudity...
Comic Book Guy: Last night's 'Itchy and Scratchy Show' was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured, I was on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world
Comic Book Guy: Oh, loneliness and cheeseburgers are a dangerous mix.
Bart: It's valuable, huh?!
Comic Book Guy: Ooh, your powers of deduction are exceptional. I can't allow you to waste them here when there are so many crimes going unsolved at this very moment. Go, go, for the good of the city
we could do some classic Homer quotes but these boards may explode!
